Hi all! Things have been super busy (third year is pretty stressful as it turns out) so I apologise I haven’t blogged sooner. I don’t have the time (or at least when I do have the time I spend it drugged up to my eyeballs on analgesia) so apart from working and writing and studying I haven’t really been up to a lot.
I do have to say though I’m feeling so positive with regards to the anxiety and depression. As well as having counselling, I’ve started a low dose of fluoxetine (better known as Prozac) and I feel this has helped my moods immensely. I’m no longer panicking about little things, I’m no longer crying in the street, and I’m feeling really positive which is wonderful. Of course I still have anxious moments but no way near as intense as they were a few weeks back. The other day I walked through campus and for the first time in maybe a year or possibly longer, I felt genuine happiness. I noticed things I wouldn’t usually notice. The daffodils looked so bright and gorgeous and everything was sunny and wonderful. It was a fantastic feeling and I forgot you could feel that way.
My counselling has come to an end as we feel I can carry on without it (at least for the time being). It was a really great thing for me, and I’m so grateful I had the opportunity to have it. It’s worked wonders, and it was rather emotional having to say goodbye to my counsellor. Together with my medication, it’s really changed my life for the better and I’m hoping for sunnier, positive days from now on. I’m under no illusions it will take time. I know I’ll be on my medication for months and possibly longer, but despite some of the side effects (the worst being I can’t take my tramadol with it which is bad on painful days) it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Last night I went to my lovely friend Amy’s birthday meal and get together. Amy is one of the loveliest, kindest and most wonderful people I’ve ever met in my life. She has such a sunny disposition and always brightens up your day. It was wonderful to spend some time with her and all her friends. We went to Roots which is a Caribbean bar and grill, and I had coconut shrimp to start and a Trinidadian jerk chicken roti for the main course. Alcohol was off the cards as I’d had a lot of painkillers yesterday, so I had a fruit punch instead which was refreshing and lovely. The food was okay, but not as amazing as we’d all hoped which is a shame. Another thing that was really off-putting was the music: it was so loud I felt like I was eating my dinner in a club! I think it’d be great for a few rum cocktails, but I perhaps wouldn’t go again for a meal out. We did go back to Amy’s for tea and cake, which was by far my favourite part of the evening. It was great to have a good natter and a cuppa!
That’s really all that’s been going on over here. I hope you’ve had a wonderful weekend and a great couple of weeks.
Look after yourself,