Categories
General health and well-being Product Review

Heavenly Feet with Nine to Five Heels*

Hello there, lovely reader. Today I have a lovely little review for you all. Before Christmas (which seems like so long ago!) I was contacted by the lovely Alison on behalf of Nine to Five Heels, which has launched a brand new range of insoles to make even the most devilishly painful shoes a delight to wear. I explained to Alison that my cerebral palsy causes issues with my feet and walking, and she said these would be perfect for me. I couldn’t wait to try them out!

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The packaging used for these was absolutely wonderful! A beautifully wrapped, exciting package packed with care is something I always appreciate. The crinkly pink tissue paper housed the insoles, which were helpfully packaged in rather beautiful cartons. These packages explain the idea behind the insoles, where ‘…leading UK podiatrists have been working hard…to create insoles that really do make killer shoes heavenly to wear.’ I admit, I’m not one for wearing heels every day. My hemiplegia makes this too painful and tricky, but I am a huge fan of my Dr Martens heeled boots (they’re the Marcy design i believe) and trying these out in heeled boots was the perfect experiment.

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As you can see above, this particular pair is clear and gives you instructions telling you where to place them into your shoes. What I noticed was a strong peppermint smell, which I found unusual at first, but it’s a great way to keep everything feeling fresh when on your feet all day. Don’t worry; people won’t be commenting on the peppermint smell when they’re in your shoes!

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The insoles are extremely flexible and will fit into any shoe regardless of heel height. The groves in the insole cradle your feet in the best way, allowing you to stay comfortably on your feet even after the longest days.

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I also received a wonderful little manicure set to keep my feet looking fabulous! How gorgeous is that?!

I received the insoles in two colours – black and clear – and there’s a third option in a gorgeous bright pink if that takes your fancy.

I am really enjoying these insoles, and in fact I have even taken to using them in my regular non-heeled shoes! They just wash clean when needed and are an absolute joy to wear.

Thanks so much to Alison for this beautiful package. I am completely converted!

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Why not check out their product range here?

I hope you’re having a fabulous weekend whatever you’re up to.
Heather X

Categories
My Life

Hospitals, Spoons and the ‘P’ Word

Hello, there. I hope you are having a fantastic Tuesday. I’m currently writing from a room that’s eerily similar to one I occupied in my first year of university (minus the bullying that happened daily…thank god) and it’s rather nice to be back in such a social environment but with less of the stress this time round. This week I’ve been working at a Talent Development Program at my university and it’s been a lot of fun. I’m mentoring a group of soon-to-be undergraduate students and am helping them to complete a presentation on a particular topic. The presentation itself will be assessed by professors of the university, so I can imagine they’re feeling a little intimidated at present (though I know they can do it!). It is a lot of work, but it’s a breath of fresh air to be back in university working with students and my group are all wonderful.

Despite the fantastic week, I have had a fair few appointments/medical emergencies and my spoon supplies are feeling just a little bit depleted so I’m snuggled in bed as a consequence (for the ‘Spoon Theory’, if you don’t know what it is already, head over to But You Don’t Look Sick . It has become a fantastic way for many with disabilities/chronic illnesses to articulate their experiences to those without chronic conditions). This all started on Friday. Things were relatively great until then and I was just about managing to cope with things/have enough spoons to do the things I wanted to. Michael, a close friend from university came over, (he has been working on the same project as myself at uni so came to stay with me) and we spent lots of time catching up, sipping G&Ts and watching wonderfully silly things on tv. It was fabulous…

… until Friday afternoon. We went for Italian food, which seemed innocuous enough. And so we enjoyed pizzas and chatted a while and then strolled home feeling rather content.

Until my body decided it had other things to do, that is.

It all started with itching…lots and lots of intense itching all over my scalp and face, which made me want to scratch my skin to shreds. It all happened so quickly but by the time we got to my flat I was so uncomfortable I tore off my clothes and desperately hopped into a cold shower. Nothing was alleviating my skin and by this point I was covered head-to-toe in a violent, angry, itchy white and red rash. Nothing escaped; it was all over my back, my chest, my legs…and maybe unsurprisingly, I began to panic. I became dizzy and light-headed and by this point I was running around the flat naked (I know, poor Mike!). We took the decision to ring an ambulance as soon as I found I was struggling to breathe and the paramedics burst through the door to me, completely stark-naked, struggling to breathe in a heap on the floor. It was probably hilarious.

Turns out I had a severe allergic reaction, although I’m yet to find out what it was brought on by. I was given a strong dose of anti-histamine by injection and was offered to be taken to hospital. I politely declined and thanked the wonderful paramedics for all their help (whilst apologising for my initial lack of clothing…im never going to live that down, am I?!) and that was that. it was over almost as quickly as it had started but I have been strongly advised to go for an allergy test.

Not only that, but yesterday I went to see a consultant neurologist for my hemi. The fabulous news is she’s referring me to orthotics, physios AND an occupational therapist, which I’m absolutely thrilled with and I’m hoping they’ll all be able to relieve my pain/help out even if only slightly. it would be a fantastic help to the quality of my life. Today I went to my weekly pain management appointment which was painful, but I am starting to see results in terms of muscular pain so I’m willing to put up with the short-term pain for now.

Tonight I have been thinking, and I’m just beginning to realise that this will probably be the way things are for a while this year, but I think that’s okay. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about receiving all this treatment but I do, I really do. Sometimes I sit and think that I make too much fuss/that I shouldn’t be feeling the way I do because, although I do struggle with pain and hemi and MH and everything else, I am so SO lucky to have been given a life like this one. I guess it’s okay that there will be hospitals and things probably for the rest of my life, and I need to understand that I’m entitled to that. Really it just makes me feel hugely fortunate to have such wonderful healthcare available, because I honestly can’t fault any of the care from my recent appointments. I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, but I felt like I needed a good old talk about things. I think tonight i’ll just stay in bed and wind down.

Hope you’re having a great Tuesday, whatever you’re doing.

Heather x

Categories
Informative posts Studying at University with Disabilities

What Not to Say to Someone With Chronic Illness and Disabilities

Hello there, and thanks for stopping by! This is going to be a slightly unusual post today, but it’s something I’d really like to share with you all. As you may know, I have a form of cerebral palsy- mild spastic hemiplegia – and a spinal condition called Scheuermann’s kyphosis. These are long-term illnesses, with no cure, so it’s just about learning to manage and live with the associated pain and mobility difficulties to ensure I have a good quality of life. What has been really shocking to learn is that people assume they’re an expert of chronic illness and think it wise to give out tips and advice. I know, we’ve all been there, but it’s something that never ceases to amaze me! After all, I know my body better than anyone, and I know how my conditions affect my day-to-day life. I just thought I’d share a few snippets of advice I’ve often found funny, and usually unhelpful. Some comments are pretty hurtful, but I know some are simply well-meant.

Just to clarify, this is not a dig at anyone at all, and this isn’t intended as something to offend any well-wishers: I just think it’s helpful to realise sometimes things aren’t always what they seem and maybe we can all think before we say something to someone. You never know how your words are going to affect someone else.

‘Chronic illness? But you look so well! How is this possible!?’

I get this a lot. I really do. And whilst I can appreciate I do look ‘fine’ most days, it can be very frustrating to hear. Firstly, it makes me feel fraudulent. No, I don’t use a wheelchair, and even when I use my walking stick I appear able to walk normally and without difficulty. However, I spend the majority of my day in constant pain, and it’s really wearisome having to reiterate this. Secondly, there’s also the idea that if I’m dressed up nicely or have make up on, that I can’t really be that ill, because, you know, I’ve made ‘an effort’. Having chronic illness doesn’t mean you have no desire to feel good. I still want to look as nice as the next person, and when I feel like it I really enjoy wearing a little bit of lipstick now and again. It just goes to show that you never know what’s underneath it all. (oh, I also enjoy wearing a bright shade of red when I can…makes me feel I can take on the world, especially on bad days!)

‘Why don’t you try exercise? I’ve heard it really helps [insert illness here].’

I have couple of things to say about this one. What I do seem to notice is people often recommend exercise when they don’t really understand the condition. Last year, someone asked what cerebral palsy was. Immediately upon hearing this, they proclaimed that exercise would cure it. Funny…they didn’t know what it was prior to asking! Though I know exercise is fantastic, and I do exercise as much as I can to keep my muscles as flexible as possible (particularly in my hemi side) sometimes the nature of my conditions limits me in terms of exercises. Some I simply can’t do. Most others leave me in a lot of pain. People also assume that I don’t try/never have tried/that I’m unfit anyway. I happen to walk quite a lot, and considering walking is something I find challenging, (particularly with regards to the palsy) this can sometimes be very painful and very tiring. However, I always try. Sometimes I try too much, end up walking for miles (often in a bid to push myself) and subsequently suffer for it. What I’m basically trying to say is don’t assume exercise is the be all and end all. It can be brilliant, but think about it: if you’re in severe pain, would the first activity to spring to mind be a jog/some workout at the gym? No? Didn’t think so.  Also, I’ll add here that when I was at school I still used to take part in PE and sports days despite my medical conditions and difficulties. One memorable sports day I volunteered for a long distance running race. At school, very few people knew about my cerebral palsy, but when I crossed that finish line (I came fourth out of eight) it was amazing. I’d done it; I’d also competed against people with no mobility or pain issues. It was possible, but I won’t say it didn’t hurt. I can still think back to the feeling of intense burning, crampy, sickening  pain in my hemi leg that followed. The PE teachers gave me some little gifts to say well done: they appreciated how difficult it must have been for me and I’m truly grateful for that. It’s an experience I won’t ever forget.

‘Ah, get well soon!’

I feel bad about including this comment, because this is obviously well-meant and I appreciate the sentiment. However, it is difficult to explain to people that my conditions won’t get better. I have done this once or twice, and I’m usually branded a pessimist. I just call it being realistic: there’s no cure for either. They fluctuate on a daily basis. Yes, some days are better than others. But I will be living with these for the rest of my life, and I have (mostly) come to terms with that. I’m still sad I included this one but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean!

‘You’re just an old lady really!’

This really, REALLY annoys me. This reiterates everything I feel about myself. Some days I wake up in so much pain I feel like I’m years older. I can’t do normal household chores without intense back pain, I can’t go shopping without my body hurting and I can’t do ‘younger people’ stuff like clubbing without things becoming very difficult. Of course I enjoy a good dance every now and then, but it becomes extremely painful. The next day is an issue not because of the ensuing hangover (well, at least not the majority of the time) but because my body is tired…it’s tired of the pain. Don’t call me an old lady. It’s never okay. It’s one of these things that really get to me. Calling me an old lady basically confirms all my worst fears. I have a hard enough time thinking of myself in this way, and I’d rather you didn’t add to that.

‘You’re just lazy/milking it’

I just don’t even know what drives people to say things like this. I didn’t choose to have these conditions. I can’t help that sometimes I need rest and relaxation. Just try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: do you think it’s easy living in pain every day? It is also well-documented that people living with cerebral palsy use more energy than an usual. It’s tiring stuff. The latter part of the above comment was one of the more hurtful things I’ve heard. When I was in school, I had to wear a spinal brace. This was extremely uncomfortable. I had to wear it 23 hours every day and the hour off was for showering/PE. Because it was hard plastic, it dug in everywhere, and I’d end up with bruised hips, itchy skin rashes and marks cutting into my skin from the plastic. It constantly forced my spine into an unnatural position, and this was painful. Wearing that brace was awful. I felt detached from my own life: it was like I stepped into a magazine and became someone else. ‘Will I have pain for the rest of my life? So, you mean it’s incurable? My spine might get worse?’ These were questions I found hard to ask and even harder to understand when I was thirteen. I was thrust into a world of painkillers, hospital checks, physio, pain management, and procedure after procedure. This was on top of my appointments for my cerebral palsy. Having people claim I was milking it was something I really didn’t need. How insensitive can you be?! The worst part is that a person who said this talked behind my back and told my friends I was ‘milking it’. At the same time, they’d be really lovely to my face and would offer to help me in any way they could. As you can imagine, hearing that was extremely hurtful, and I never really associated myself with them at all after that. I still avoid having to now, despite the fact we have mutual friends. Please don’t do this, ever. The last thing I’d ever want to do is feign an illness. If I had it my way, I’d be completely healthy and have nothing wrong at all. As it stands, I’m not. Don’t make assumptions because you don’t understand.It’s a comment that I haven’t ever been able to shake off since the age of thirteen, and I don’t think I’ll be able to forget it.

I know this is an unusual post, but I hope it has given you something to think about! On a light-hearted note, I have two huge bars of chocolate to get me through the last couple of weeks of essay writing. I know I can do this, but it won’t be easy. Wish me luck!

I’m getting closer to that finish line…

Heather x

Categories
My Life

The Past Week

I just thought I would give you an update from the past week or so as things have been really hectic and it always feels great to write about everything. It’s definitely cathartic discussing things that have been an issue, and so this is probably going to take on a more personal tone.

It’s been a busy yet wonderful 7 days. Exactly a week ago, I found myself in a room packed full of wonderful blogging folk. We ate cakes, sipped tea, got to try out some brilliant new products and had a generally all round fantastic day. It was really fantastic to meet some new people, and though I’d class myself as a born-again newbie blogger, it was nice to feel somewhat integrated into a community of bloggers. I struck it lucky on the raffles and came home laden with goodies and treats; all of which are jotted down into my blogging schedule to appear over the course of the next seven days. I admit I’ve been somewhat hampered; I cannot seem to access my photos from my SD card, yet on my camera itself it is displaying all the pictures I’ve taken. This is really frustrating, as I had some great things to show you on there. Hopefully I’ll be able to work it out soon, or alternatively I’ll just take some more pictures on a different device and hope for the best! Either way, it’ll buy me a bit more time to really get great use out of the products and hopefully I can provide you with a really useful review of the day itself and the products.

Since it’s the run up to Christmas, there’s been some great events on. I’ve had lovely little nights in with friends, cosied up with a bottle of wine and some festive treats, chatting the night away. I’ve also consumed the obligatory festive mince pie and mulled wine, watched a fair few Christmas films snuggled up in bed with only the light of a candle, and everyday I’ve been eagerly opening each little window of my advent calendar with a small piece of chocolate as a reward for my efforts. This is such a wonderful time of the year and I’m really grateful to all the generous people who are sharing it with me.

University work is beginning to pile up, and this is starting to take it’s toll on me both physically and mentally. I thought I was getting over the last ‘bad pain’ phase, but I fear it’s only just beginning. The most frustrating thing about living with chronic pain isn’t necessarily the pain itself, but the things that come along with it. I am so, so tired recently. All I want to do is sleep and this is becoming a real issue for me. When there’s so much to do (volunteering, studying, essay writing) sleeping for 10-12 hours every night takes a massive chunk out of the day. Yes, I could take painkillers, but these make me sleep anyway, and without them there’s a chance I might feel well enough to power through. I am so excited to get home and to try and have as much of a break as possible. Admittedly this won’t be easy considering I have 11000 words worth of essays due in for January, but at least my family can look after me a little bit and take some of the stress away. Cooking is becoming a real chore, and this is really sad. Cooking is a great stress reliever for me, but feeling this exhausted means I don’t always enjoy it as it completely drains me of any energy. However, I’m hoping that over Christmas I’ll be able to get back into the swing of things. In doing so, I’m aiming to start posts including my favourite recipes and food products. I absolutely LOVE food, and I’d love to share any inspiration with you all as I know how tricky it can sometimes be to come up with something exciting and different whilst working/having a busy day. I love quick, easy to prepare meals, as they’re much easier for me to create when I’m having a bad day, so expect some of these in the near future!

This semester has made me realise I need to stop expecting so much from myself. I definitely need a good break and to look after myself a lot more. Sometimes you need things to go a bit haywire to put things into perspective, and I’m definitely looking at things through different eyes.

I hope you’re enjoying the run up to Christmas whatever you may be doing.

Heather

 

Categories
Informative posts Things Cerebral Palsy and Scheuermann's Related

Cerebral Palsy: what you need to know

When people hear that I have cerebral palsy, I (usually) get one of two responses. The first usually goes along the lines of, “wow, you’d never know, you look really well with it!” and the second is,”Cerebral palsy? I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know what it is”. Of course I’m speaking in very general terms, and it is worth mentioning that I am indeed conscious of the varying degree to which people are aware of the condition. However, I thought that it would be worthwhile to discuss the basics of cerebral palsy to further inform subsequent posts.

If we had never met before, and you were to come across me walking down the street, I’d be very impressed if you knew that there was anything ‘wrong’ with me at all. Whilst I hate using the words ‘normal’ (what constitutes normality, anyway?) ‘wrong’, and ‘different’, please bear with me! I’m hoping to make some sense to you all as it’s been a really long day! I physically don’t appear to be any different to the next person. I seem to walk perfectly normally, and appear fit and healthy. However, if you took a closer look, you might notice that I sometimes walk a little awkwardly on my right leg, and that I find my right hand a little awkward to use. So much so, I keep it tucked away in a pocket.

You see, I actually have a form of cerebral palsy called a right-sided hemiplegia. When I was born, I was premature and only weighed 2lb 11ozs. Being of low birth-weight can increase the risk of acquiring cerebral palsy, as does being part of a multiple birth, which I also was; I have a twin brother. Cerebral palsy is, in really basic terms, caused by an injury to the brain prior to, or fairly immediately after birth. I know when I was born my brain hadn’t fully developed on the left hand side, and though it did seem to recover and repair after my birth, it left me with the resulting cerebral palsy which affects (on a very basic level) my motor skills on the right hand side of my body.

When I was three I underwent an operation to ‘lengthen’ and stretch my right Achilles’ tendon. The form of cerebral palsy I have causes my muscles to be spastic, so that they’re always tight no matter when position they’re in. This operation enabled me to walk in the way that I do today, and for that I’m so grateful! I’ve also had lots of physiotherapy appointments, stretching plaster casts on my leg and, more recently, I’ve been using a splint to try to keep the muscles in my leg as stretched as possible. On painful or difficult days, I use a walking stick as I managed to find a rather pretty one. Or at least (I think) as pretty as a walking stick can be!

The main thing to note is that cerebral palsy doesn’t go away. There is no cure for cerebral palsy. And though my brain injury has already occurred, the affected muscles may continue to deteriorate over time through use and stress. My affected muscles can often become really painful because they’re constantly stiff and tight. I also have issues with my balance, with using my right hand, and my mobility, especially on ‘bad days’. There are so many other different symptoms associated with having cerebral palsy, and I’m aware of how long this post is becoming, so I’ll make sure to discuss them in other posts.

I’m sorry if this is rather dry and that this is possibly running the risk of being boring, but I felt like it was imperative for me to at least highlight the basics for you all! I hope you’ve had a wonderful week and I wish you an enjoyable weekend.

All for now,
Heather